Giving constructive criticism is notoriously difficult. Do YOU ever dodge a feedback conversation? You’re not alone! In our leadership development programmes we often ask our participants: “What conversations do you find the most unpleasant?” The answer across the...
Knowing the ground you’re standing on matters, because You can trust yourself when you know what you stand for, and Your people trust you when they know what you stand for, even if they disagree with your decisions Sometimes something doesn’t go my way, but I cannot...
“The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” (William Faulkner) Because the past doesn’t just live in memory, it lives in our nervous system. It lives in the “parts” of us that learned to protect, perform, please, or power through in order to survive and succeed....
Is this you? Michael generates an enormous output each day. No one gets it done like him! And it’s just as well that he is highly efficient, because he constantly has too much on his plate. There are meetings and committee work he cannot get out of - or so he...
As I am immersed in team coaching, exploring what allows a team to flourish, and how to bring about systemic change, I keep thinking about my experience in my community garden. Back in April, seven of us were sitting in a circle in the sun with a cup of tea. We...
Do you have a thistle on your team? If yes, you know: those difficult people are tenacious. Constantly criticising, challenging, blocking. You don’t want a thistle on your team. No more than I want them in my lovely flower garden. When I spot a thistle, I pull it....
Do you have that one annoying person on your team? The naysayer, critic, show stopper. It’s exhausting. Meetings go as planned until that person starts talking. They elaborate on how the plan won’t work. They meticulously point out its shortcomings. The plan falls...
An adult male Indian elephant weighs between 2500 and 5000 kg. That’s the equivalent of a Land Rover Discovery on the lighter end or a Cadillac Escalade on the heavier. Have you ever wondered how such a powerful creature can be restrained and held captive by a small...
When stressed, you cannot distinguish what’s important from what’s unimportant. You act irrationally, without deliberation, but you don’t actually notice that yourself. On the contrary, shocking research on doctors' mistakes in hospitals have shown that in this state...
The most powerful step towards change is one small action. It’s not a big goal. Goals as starting points provoke a “should”. And “shoulds” rarely happen. It’s not a belief. Beliefs aren’t enough to lead to corresponding actions. It’s not a detailed plan....
People are bringing more and more anxiety and restlessness to work, and that’s not surprising. Recent political shifts in Western societies have increased the fear for democracy and human rights. AND Extreme weather events have been shaking people up for a while now,...
A number of my coaching relationships finished at the end of the year. I witnessed with great joy how crystal clear and confident my coachees were about their future. However, I was puzzled by a discrepancy I am observing all around me. Over the coaching relationship,...
Your unconscious thoughts are the true drivers of your life - if you let them. Is this you? Do you keep doing the same things, making the same choices, and feeling the same feelings? And all this despite your best efforts to make your leadership more effective, change...
Hey, newly appointed managers and emerging leaders. If this is where you find yourself now, it doesn’t have to be that way: Maybe it’s that conflict you have been avoiding The feedback conversation you have been procrastinating Keeping your hand down when you have...
Whatever decision you have to make, whatever action you’re about to perform, what’s your starting point? Here’s the thing. There’s only ever one of two starting points: Love or Fear Think about a situation you’re in right now, and ask yourself: Am I doing...
The 2024 IDG summit is coming up soon. And last week I participated in a pre-summit event with Frédéric Laloux, the co-creator of THE WEEK. He shared what drives him to do his work. One of his drivers is a need which consistently pops up in my coaching practice: We...
Think of a task you dislike and on a scale of 0-10 assess how motivated you are to do it. Choose any task that is less than a 5 and more than a 1. Bear that task in mind. We’ll come back to it. When something just is not motivating The first leaves are falling off the...
During the summer holidays in Canada I drank lots of coffee and ate a lot of junk food. Getting ready to travel back home, I vowed to go on a caffeine and junk food detox. I just craved feeling healthy and full of vitality again. It turns out that I only partially...
rocrastination has a bad rep. But not all procrastination is the same.
Indeed, procrastination can be really good.
I have recently learnt that from…
Guilt – something even people who were not raised by Irish catholic parents can experience.
But what if guilt wasn’t all bad? What if it could be a useful emotion for a leader? How might that occur?
Connor's recent reflections on the dynamics between management and workforce in the context of change struck a chord. This week we want to dive a bit deeper into what PLAN could look like in a complex change process where management cannot lead with solutions, but...
Delegating is an adaptive, not a technical, challenge for many leaders. Hence most leaders are overwhelmed. Co-Active Leadership offers a powerful perspective on that.
Can you change unwanted personality traits? Yes and No! Let's have a look at some traits that cause people trouble. Are you too much of a perfectionist? Would you like to feel less rigid? Would you like to be less of a worrier? Which personality traits would you...
Think of a moment when you were stuck. As you talked to a coach or a friend, you gained new insight into your stuckness, and with the liberating energy of this insight, you were able to do what it took to move toward your goal. Getting unstuck can be so easy! However,...
In work relationships we tend to focus on the task at hand and the results we want to achieve. It’s time to challenge the focus on task. Focus on relationship instead. It’s more effective!
Overwhelm is an emotion. Which means it is an energy that is stuck in our bodies. That’s why it is more effective to work with the body than telling oneself or someone else all the reasons for the overwhelm – which really only keeps it alive.
You think you asked very clearly for what you want. And yet, you got a very different result. There can be many reasons for this, but one common reason is that you did not communicate as clearly as you thought. Here’s an example.
It is often said that successful change in the workplace requires buy-in from the people who work there. And that, unfortunately, people resist change. However, I don’t believe for a moment that most people resist change. What most people do resist - and I include...
Culture change is no mean feat. But when a system sees itself from all of its stakeholders’ perspectives, it find the answers to its challenges within.
When Master Chen Ying Jun demonstrates the ‘form’, there is power in every punch. Rootedness to the floor, connection to his inner strength, full presence to his environment: Watching him reminded me of the co-active® leader’s dance between the Leader Within and our leadership in the world.