Dandelions
Leadership Coach, Front of Room Leader and Systemic Change Guide

It so happens that this summer, our patio has turned into a dandelion fest. Every crack between the patio tiles was filled with dandelion greens.

For many days I have toiled to get the weeds. I have not yet won the battle, despite of continuously upping my game of getting at the roots and pulling all of them out for good.

The roots of our dandelions are resilient.

Some of them are thicker than my thumb, and they look and feel almost like wood. And boy are they strong. They are so strong, that over the years, one solid stone has cracked. It has literally been uprooted! Cracks between stones are widening, as they are giving in to the constant pressure from the roots below.

Because I could not get a hold of the entire roots of most of the dandelions, I started to upturn some stones to get a better chance at loosening the soil around them. Then something funny happened:

When sharing with others that I was de-weeding, they took that as a metaphor.

And that made me think of how hard it is to de-weed some of my deeply rooted thinking patterns – the way I grew up to see the world. Some of them are clearly not serving me any longer, and I am painfully aware of that. I want to get rid of them, yet they keep turning up.

Thus hatched the idea of a blog about getting to the root of our limiting beliefs, and about of our not so very helpful habitual responses to life.

In a spasm of procrastination, the next best thing I did was googling images of dandelions.

And all I found in an ocean of images was nice looking yellow dandelion flowers.

And lots of the lovely white ones. You know, the ones we blow away with the wind to make a wish!

How pretty!

And that made me think again:

How do I try to look pretty on the surface, hiding below my deep rooted fears, emotions, and stucknesses?

How do I act nice when deep inside I feel disappointed, unhappy, disconnected?

Trying to look easy going, successful, knowledgeable.

Having it all together.

Authenticity is the most beautiful gift we can give to others – and even more to ourselves.

What are the deep rooted beliefs, thoughts, and emotions that keep you from showing up authentically?

In a recent conversation, five of us shared how we struggle with not getting enough done today, everyday, in life. How we are not achieving enough in what we deem to be the adequate time. What came up in this vulnerable sharing is this:

Feelings of inadequacy, and a belief that everyone else around us is managing better.

Questions like: Why do they rock it, when I am always behind? Why do they get it, and I am too dumb to do it?

Anger and resentment: Why do my friends, family, etc. not support me? I cannot get everything done on my own! I do so much for them! Or: Why do the others always slow me down? I could do this so much faster and better on my own!

What emerged in our shared letting go of pretty was that we all have so much more in common than what sets us apart.

We all struggle with unhelpful patterns. In our time, we almost all share the struggle with time, and we all have deeply rooted automatisms of reacting in stressful ways to what life throws into our way.

It’s freeing to experience that our own challenge is really everyone’s challenge.

You have so much more in common with everyone around you than you dare to hope.

So here’s the invitation: Show up authentically! It’s freeing.

It’s also the leadership we need today. Authentic leaders set those around them free to be authentic. They unleash people’s energy, creativity, aliveness. I wonder:

What roots from your childhood cause disruption for you as you go through life?

How do you try to keep them under the surface so you can look poised, be likable, stay promotable, and avoid being vulnerable at all cost?

For leadership coaching and developement, get in touch

You might also like…

The goal of coaching is Self-leadership
The goal of coaching is Self-leadership

I am currently participating in a transformative learning experience, Coaching with IFS, powerfully led by Guthrie Sayen and Barti Bourgault. The programme is about discovering how to model and foster Self-leadership to create a culture of healing and awakening. The...

Safety, Parts Work, and Our Inner Leader
Safety, Parts Work, and Our Inner Leader

I have been thinking a lot about safety over the past months. Amy Edmondson has done groundbreaking work on the topic of psychological safety. And I deeply appreciate how Timothy Clark has expanded the conversation with his four levels of psychological safety and how...

Do the Work
Do the Work

“I’m an ENFP!” I was ecstatic. I’d found my Rosetta Stone. I was 15. Funnily enough, I needed more. This was just the beginning of my journey to better understanding who I was in the world, and more importantly, who I wanted to be, and also who I was supposed to be.....

Share This